Anyway, I attended Seminar Baitul Muslim 3.0 last weekend and I think most of my unclear thoughts, doubts and questions about marriage have been answered. Alhamdulillah. These past months I have been thinking, marriage is one scary thing as we are on a lifetime contract to take up responsibilities towards the other person and the community (family, the in-laws, and the bigger community).. I was so afraid of the marriage institution cause I have seen many examples of unsuccesful marriages in my family and have had first hand experience of the hurt and pain it caused.
That made me not ready for it, not looking for anyone and not to open my heart to anyone. I believed in the sunnah of marriage & the good it brings, but I didn't think it was for me.
Now I've learnt a lot from the seminar, marriage is a means for us to get to Jannah (or hell, na'udhubillah). It is an act of ibadah. Sometimes we feel heavy to do ibadah, but we'll do it anyway, right? Because we know that's what Allah wants from us.. Mujahadah.
Allah says in the Quran, Jinn and humans are created to worship Me.
But both parties, the husband and wife, need to fully understand this and both need to constantly seek knowledge. Both need to always reflect and believe in improving self. This way, both knows they need to lower their ego if they realize there is a need to modify it (especially when an issue arises).
Both need to always compromise and come to the best decision that will benefit both.. Our partners are human beings and human beings aren't perfect. Never expect them to be perfect as you yourself have many flaws too.. The most important thing is both always try to improve self to be the best of mankind to the deen and to the family.
Hadith: The best amongst you is the one with the best character and the best of men is the one who is best to his wife.
Building family is also about building the ummah and we want succesful Muslim ummah and it starts from home. It starts from the parents. It starts now.
I think I am ready now.