Monday, October 31, 2011

Just smile. :)

The other day I was struck with something which all these while I thought could not affect me much. I never know that it was a big thing to me, until it really happens. Sometimes, we live in denial too much that when the reality strikes, then only we realize we have been lying to ourselves all these times. Don't worry, everyone faces problem, and don't be sad if you think yours is terrible enough as they are thousands of other people who ara having problems worse than yours. *just a little note to self.

Alhamdulillah Allah has brought me back to His path. I was too carried away with my own feelings for the past few months. I don't blame anyone for being that, it's my own fault. I thank all the people who have been really nice and caring towards me, who keeps giving me advices which sometimes I chose not to listen to although it's for my own benefit. Maybe sometimes their actions were too harsh. Nevertheless, they care. That matters most. I thank all of you for that, really. I'm blessed to have all of you around. :) I once thought that it would be nice to have a brother in my life to protect me from harm and guess what, I actually have brothers *yes, notice the plural form* without even realizing it. 

Heart is the place where it all starts. I thought I was ready but I was actually not. You were in the same position too. Nevertheless, I learn a lot from you. I learn to smile when I have problems. You do that a lot, although you might not have noticed it. I learn not to judge people easily as we are all raised up differently by our parents. You taught me not to be judgemental. You taught me a lot through our brief relationship. I treasure all the memories with you although I was a bit reserved most of the time. I was actually scared that I would lose control of myself and fall deeper for you. That's not what I'm supposed to be doing.

I am honestly glad you came up and call an end to it. I'll be happy when you are. I'll support whatever you do. Life can be harsh sometimes but you will survive insyaAllah.

People can say whatever they want and I admit I'm just a girl with a little heart. A heart that could feel love, and could fall in and out of love easily. People might not like it and don't agree with this but I admit you brought a sparks of light in my life when you were around. I know it's wrong in the religion and I've learnt my mistake.

But knowing you is never a mistake.
You'll always be a part of my life that I will remember.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

being here again

I think I gotta start blogging again. I only have few weeks left in Sydney. I need to write about its beauty and all stuffs that I do every day from now on.

Today I have made the decision to go back to Malaysia on the 15th of December. It's hard for me to leave this place. It's literally my home now. Though I only live here for less than 2 years. I love living here, studying here. I know I should be grateful that I get this brief chance, but honestly, I don't feel like going back, just yet.

By the way, I need to move out from Zara Airyss in two weeks time. The owner sold this house already and we had no other choice but to move out. I am going to stay with the juniors at Nile Close. Hope my life would be better there insyaAllah.

Life has never been better alhamdulillah. But I tend to get migraine quite a lot lately. Maybe I think too much.

I am gonna miss this place.
I am gonna miss my uni and the library.
I am gonna miss breathing in fresh air.
The cold weather.
The strong wind.
I am gonna miss.... Him, too.

I feel sad today. :'(