The last post I wrote was in November, the time when I was still residing in Australia. Now I am back, for good, to my beloved homeland, Malaysia. It's been 3 months now but I would still want to welcome myself home, yeay! :D
I am struggling with lots of things now. Life, financial, health, studies, spiritual. Almost every aspect. I have lots of people to count on to tell out my problems but I don't feel right to tell them cause it is just too many. So i might just burst everything out here, hoping no one will ask me about this if you see me in person. Okay? :)
Life: I have not been talking to a girlfriend for quite a while now. It all started somewhere in January I think. I planned to meet her and bought a ticket direct from Penang to her place but we ended up not meeting each other that night. Something happened - I didn't know whether she was joking or not when she said 'u ni bosan la' and 'I said fine, cancel malam ni' and she just replied 'Okay'. We insulted each other all the time but that day, things were different. It turned out that night I discovered that she checked in at a cinema with her other friends whom I knew some of 'em. Of course I was totally pissed off, if only she knew I bought that expensive ticket just to meet her first before I meet anyone else in KL. I made time to meet her that night for dinner cause I knew the rest of my time in KL that weekend would be quite full. Since then we haven't met each other, text each other on Whatsapp 24/7 like we used to. I'm not mad at her anymore. She did ask me out twice when I was in KL over the weekend but I was just too occupied with something else.
Financially, I'm not that desperate now, Alhamdulillah. However, I have set my mind that I really wanna go back to Oz for my graduation next year. I need to really save up on my allowance and my salary (yeah, work part-time during the holidays) but ya know, everytime you save up money, there will always be occasions where you need to spend 'em. Luckily I'm not the shopping type of girl. At least I save myself there.
Health-wise, I am having a kind of infection now which makes my skin gets really itchy and sometimes I scratch 'em in my sleep thus leaving the skin feels like burning. I'm under prescription now, hopefully things will get better fast. Can't stand living like this anymore. Nevertheless, the hot and extremely humid weather in Penang is not helping much cause I sweat a lot which makes the healing process slower. Syafakillah, inshaAllah. (Diseases eliminate the sins, with Allah's will.)
Studies? Hmm I better make a separate post for this. If I were to describe everything I'm going through right now in one word, it would be STRUGGLE.
Spiritual.. I miss my Usrah group. I just can't wait to be in the circle each week. At least I get to listen and talk about good things, about Islam. I know depending totally on Usrah to be close to my religion is not right. My faith has its ups and downs and I think I'm having more downs than ups lately. I need to fix myself. I really do. :(
May Allah ease everything for me, you and Muslims all over the world. Allahumma Amin.