Belaian Jiwa.

Okay tadi tiba2 ter-mainkan lagu ni di Youtube. And... touching sendiri.

Maybe I've forgotten Him, That's why.

My open house went great, thanks to my beloved Zara Airyss housemates.
Well I'm not really in the mood to talk about the open house, maybe later with some pretty pictures uploaded along with the post.
Tiring day, happy yet stressful.

And I made a confession to my brother Alang and my very-supportive-girlfriend Kema. Well I intended to ask for their opinions regarding it actually, that's why I confessed.

Both of them gave me advices, good ones I must say.
I shall keep them to myself.
Pray for the best -  that's the conclusion.
If we think that this one particular person is the best, the most suitable for us, yet Allah doesn't grant us them, just wait. He has something better in future.

Whatever happens, we never lose anything kan? We will always get the best thing from Allah, provided we perform the best effort... InsyaAllah.

Allah knows best, we shall trust Him, in everything we do. :)

Maybe I've forgotten Allah in my days and nights.. thus He gave me challenges in this way. The way that I'm most weak at - the heart matter.

Alhamdulillah, all these confusions lead me back to Him. Syukur.

I guess my angau days are now over. Get back to reality. And Rod Lane. ;)

Realization.

Today I realized something.
The person I like, remains as 'the person I liked'.
What happened the other day was just my own 'perasan-ness'.
I je terperasan hari tu.

Hope this feeling will go away soon.
It affects me.
I'm not myself. haha

I'm always out of words.
When he tegur, I just smile and walk away.

Hope that isn't obvious.
I hope.
But I like him.
;)

p/s: dear housemates, please pretend like you never read this one, malu lah ai. hehe

My babies :)

Here! My babies. Mr Woody and Sir Shrek!

If you know me well, I'm totally obsessed with Toy Story and Shrek! Not just recently, but has been forever! *okay exaggerate dah budak ni

I bought Shrek well not say bought, but Shrek officially became mine when we met at Movieworld in Gold Coast last winter. I went there for my semester break. Yeah, it was love at first sight. Since then, he always accompanied me especially during bedtime. He never left me. The furthest he had ever been was under my bed. Hee.

And just few days ago, my darling Amirah, set a special date up for me and Mr Woody. I was about to sleep when Mira suddenly asked me to cover my head underneath the quilt. I was confused with her request, but I followed anyway. In my mind, I thought 'budak ni nak salin baju ka, beria suruh aku tutup muka, macam aku ade selera je kat dia ni'.

It was a raya gift for me. What a sweet girl she was, and is. :)

Now Mr Woody and Shrek (and me) are always together, inseparable, especially during bedtime!

And yeah, our bed is totally full with our babies! :) :)

Woody, Shrek, BabyBunny & Koko (mine) 

Alfonso (white polar bear), Tigger and Donkey (Mira's)

I got Koko from my bestie Iylia Kadir on the day I flew off to Sydney. *Miss you darling*

BabyBunny - I got from a game booth at the Royal Easter Show last April. Although I didn't win, the guy gave that little prize to me anyway.

I hug them all tightly when I sleep! :D

Bahaya.

Ye, bahaya. I'm in danger.

Lately, someone has constantly been on my mind.

I'm worried, and confused with my own feelings.

Hmm.........

My last day on earth.

Today I had two raya open house invitations.

First, Afiq and the boys' house and the second was Nina and the girls' house. Lotsa food to eat, yuummayh!

Before that, I went to Macquarie Centre for a while before our 'Ops Raya'.

me in front of the Event cinema. ala2 GSC la kat Msia.

 

Zeda and I - ambil gambar while waiting for the other girls

Okay jauh dah menyimpang. That's not what I wanted to write about. On our way to the open house, we walked pass the campus to meet Ali's friend, Nadia, because Ali wanted to pay her the entry fee for the upcoming futsal event. (Yeah I didn't join, but would be there to support my girls). 

Back to the story.. Nadia was there with a bunch of people, Muslims particularly. They were there doing promo video recording for the coming Islamic Awareness Week which would be held on 11 Oct- 15 Oct. I registered to be the volunteer, by the way. :) 

*Islamic Awareness Week in our campus, mainly aimed to correct people's views about Islam. About the Quran and about our daily lives. It's really interesting. :)

Back to the story.. then one of the brothers, approached us and invited us to get involved for the recording. 

"Just some simple and basic questions. Like 'How is the weather today?' ", Nadia said. 

I was there with my housemates (5 of us). We were so nervous to do it. My main reason for being nervous was - I was conscious of my English fluency and I was afraid that I would lost for words.

Seeing they were like really hoping for us to be interviewed.. So Ali volunteered, and I joined her. 

After getting ready, (I held the microphone! :P).. There goes our first question..

"What is your purpose of life?" asked one of the brothers (who was behind the camera - in front of us).

I was stunned. And yeah, as expected, lost for words. Ali then suddenly answered. She gave a brilliant answer I must say.

"My purpose of life is, to obey Allah's rule, follow the guidance .." (and few more things which please forgive my old mind for forgetting).

Then she turned to me and I looked at the brother. He said "What about you?"

Okay I was nervous. Because.. it was really a simple question, the most basic thing that we should know - the purpose of our own lives. But I suddenly realized. I never know what my purpose of life is. I never thought of it. Like seriously, we live our days, everyday, do we really know what our purpose of life is? Honestly I don't. The question really made me think.

So I answered.

"My purpose of life, is to be the best person I can ever be. with Allah's guidance".

That sounds simple. But personally it affected me muchoz. Yeah, that's my purpose of life. I just realized it now.

Then, the second question.

"If you knew that it was your last three days on earth, what would you do?"

Ali looked at me, like saying 'min cakaplah dulu'. Okay I knew I needed to answer this one. I thought if it were really my last days on earth, what I would do.

"First, I would ask for forgiveness from my parents. Second, pray a lot, definitely (I said it with a little giggle, and they laughed too). The third, I would cherish the day."

And I heard Ali said "Same as her". *what a safe way out for Ali, heh? :p

Well, they really asked for basic and simple questions. But questions that we never thought of. At least for me. We never ask ourselves about it, really. Sometimes we live our days without reflecting back to our own self. Why are we chosen by Allah to live in this world?

Have you ever thought of it?

my housemates

from left: Ali, Zawa, me, Asrin, Zeda (my other housemate, Amirah was not in the pic, unfortunately)

Salam. :)

p/s: Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir batin

Bersedih? Jangan.

Have it ever crossed to you, that suddenly, out of nowhere, you became depressed and feel terribly down? Padahal baru sebelum tu kita bergelak ketawa dengan kawan-kawan. Okay honestly, we can't feel down like so sudden, bukan? Yeah something happened to me just now, that I feel depressed sebentar. Tapi takpa. At least, this depression gives me an idea of what to write. 

How to overcome a depression (atau 'down' bak kata orang putih)

1.       Pujuk diri sendiri.

a.       Oleh sebab takda siapa lagi dalam dunia ni yang boleh pujuk kita.. (kecuali mak kita, tapi mak mesti bosan hari-hari min call mak, ye tak? ;) - I know you'll be reading this one).

·         Macam saya.. Saya cakap "tak pe lah, semalam kan dah happy sangat.. Kan hari ni dah down, sebab tak bersyukur atas ke-happy-an semalam agaknya".

·         And.. Kadang-kadang kita marah diri sendiri - kenapa aku asyik tak happy? Kenapa aku asyik down?? Tak boleh ke perasaan ni pergi? Jawapan dia : kita yang bertanggungjawab atas tindakan kita sendiri. Perasaan tak happy itu akan sentiasa melanda manusia.. Dalam masa nilah kita perlu yakin pada Allah.. Dia tahu segalanya. Bak kata lagu Zain Bhikha - Allah Knows.. Mengadu lah padaNya, Dia dengar. :)

No matter what, inside or out

There is one thing of which no doubt… ALLAH KNOWS.. ALLAH KNOWS.

ni link untuk lagu nya. Try lah download dan dengar liriknya, best :)

 http://www.4shared.com/audio/ckPjVWkl/Allah_Knows_by_Zain_Bhikha.html

 2.        Bersyukur. 

·         Bersyukur apesal pulak, kita depresi ni… hmm. Baru tadi terlintas dalam fikiran saya, kita rasa down, sebab mesti dah terlupakan Allah.. Mungkin ada part kita terleka sekejap. Cuba reflect balik.. Bila kita down, baru nak mengadu pada Allah.. Ha sebab tu kita depress, sebab Allah bagi kita titik tolak untuk sedar balik. Bersyukur lah, sebab kita diberi kesedaran. (Cuma antara kita nak sedar dengan tak sedar je lah) :)

3.       Bersyukur lagi.

·         Ada pernah sekali dulu.. Saya dilanda kesedihan yang sangat teruk. Sangat down. Sangat depresi. Kemudian saya call mak. Dengar suara lembut mak, dah cukup untuk buat air mata menitis. Mak suruh cakap "Alhamdulillah". Saya terkedu juga mula-mula.. dalam kita ditimpa bencana.. Mak suruh cakap macam tu pula. Tapi bila dah matang sikit fikiran ni.. Mak tak pernah salah. Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah. Di sebalik setiap keburukan.. Ada kebaikan, percayalah. Bukan percaya pada saya, tapi pada Allah. :)  
  
4. Mengadu pada orang yang boleh memahami
 INGAT! Bukan sebarangan orang nak dengar luahan hati kita.. Percayalah. Saya dah kena dulu masa sekolah menengah. Kawan tempat mengadu tiba2 satu hari cakap kat saya "Boleh tak ko stop cakap pasal benda tu? Aku bosan dengar". Terkedu. Sampai sekarang, saya trauma nak cerita pada orang, tapi Alhamdulillah.. Saya dikurniakan kawan-kawan yang sangat mulia hatinya.. Moga Allah mengurniakan rahmat atas mereka.. Amin..

5. Berdiri dalam realiti.

·        
Truth hurts, but they are the truth anyway. Saya gunting keratan surat khabar kat bawah ni sebab sangat membantu saya cari balik semangat yang hilang. :) eat a concrete and harden up! Concrete sangatlah tak sedap, keras, buat patah gigi je. Tapi telan je! Dah telan nanti jadi kebal. Gitu lah falsafah saya. (falsafah pulak dah...adoyai)

6.       Baca Quran. Dan tafsirnya.

·         Kita ni diuji dengan ujian kecil je.. Rasul kita Muhammad besar sungguh dugaan baginda.. Kita cuma jaga hati kita seorang, Nabi jaga sekalian umat. Seteruk-teruk cabaran kita, ada lagi orang yang lagi besar dugaan dia. Again.. Bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada..

Hmm. Sebenarnya, cara nak overcome depresi ni banyak, tapi semuanya, bagi saya, bertitik tolak dari ingatan kita pada Allah. Dekatkan diri denganNya. Kasih sayang Allah lebih dari cukup untuk hambaNya.. InsyaAllah.