Bismillah, restarting the race.

Assalamualaikum peeps!

In less than 2 hours I'll be attending my first ever independent usrah. Wah over je. Yeah Alhamdulillah I'll be joining MIZAN's usrah group for the Wangsa Maju area. After a long 11 months of drifting and drifting away... He calls me back to Him. Alhamdulillah.

My previous usrah was with my own cohortmates and my naqibah herself was my best friend. So you get now why I say this is my first independent usrah? I know no one in this group and I have long been an antisocial person i.e I just love to spend time alone (too much). And now, I have to meet new people. I chose this. I chose to meet new people. I chose to get out of my comfort zone. Above all, I just need to do this cause I have been too far away from Him, the One Who loves me. So I must do my best and be istiqamah if Allah wills!

Anyway I have mixed feelings now, happy, nervous and kinda sad cause I miss my little usrah family for the past 2 years, 'AnNur Solehah'. In sha Allah I'm gonna restart the race I've given up before. Another step I take now for my pursuit of happiness, biiznillah.

Milsons Point, Sydney. 2010.

something that my heart tells.

Today - well it's not just today but lately - I miss him so much. I don't know why. I wanted badly to text him and ask how he's been doing. Is he good? Is everything fine? How's work? How's his study? Has he found things that make him happy? Has things changed since we separated ways? ..... But all them questions remain in my mind without being voiced (or typed).

I think this is all due to hormonal change in me. Yeah it's not going to be long, this feeling. It'll fade away, as time passes.

If you really wanna get over someone, delete everything about them in your phone. All phone numbers, that includes his mom's, dad's, sis's (I had them all). That's what I do. It's hard but you have to do what you have to do. Save yourself before you got drowned deeper. ----- At least I don't wake up in the middle of the night and text stupid things to him like I used to do. And so far it's a success. I haven't talked to him for about 2 months now. Not at all.

Nevertheless, I admit this feeling in me is still there. As I listened to my favourite Taylor Swift's song Safe And Sound, I imagined dedicating it to him. Lately I had a feeling that he was having a hard time but I just couldn't ask. He wasn't that strong, I knew that. I knew him.

I wish I could save you. I wish I could be there with you during your hard times. But I just can't. Not anymore. You need to save yourself and all I could do is just send you prayers, that Allah will protect you always.

I remember tears streaming down your face  
When I said, I'll never let you go  
When all those shadows almost killed your light 
 I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone  
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight...

Just close your eyes 
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright 
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe & sound...

Dear you, please be strong to face the world. You can do it as long as you believe in yourself, believe in Allah and hold on tight to the two. May Allah grant you strength and success.. amin.

Birthday wish.

Hey ho. I just realized something. When I am down and a bit emotional, I tend to have thousands of things to write.

It's already the 1st of November. I can't help myself from feeling happy every time November arrives. This year is my final year celebrating it in Sydney. Last year Alhamdulillah I went for a walk with Jah around Darling Harbour on the eve of my birthday, and got a dramatic surprise at midnight by my housemates. And the boys also threw me a birthday dinner party on the 19th. (Footnote: Alang I still remember your mango cheesecake, and Razeen's pizza telur and Farouk's kek pisang). Not forget to mention, all the beautiful wishes that I received on Facebook. I had a wonderful time, Alhamdulillah.. And thank you everyone for sharing your love with me! May Allah bless all of you. <3

This year. I have only one wish. Well two actually. The first, for people to send me du'as of course, as they are the most wonderful gift one could ever received.. And the second, for anyone to sing me a Coldplay song, and it would be nicer if they had a guitar along. Haha I know who would ever do that for me, but I don't mind, it's just a wish that is not necessarily be fulfilled.

Suddenly John Lennon's song Imagine plays on my mind. 

That's my wish for this year. Maybe my imagination is a bit too much, but the least I would do is, listen to them on my iPod. We always have options in life, being too rigid kills. At least that's my belief. :)

Oh dear. I'm more than excited now. *big grin*

I don't mind spending the day alone. Listening to Coldplay and lying on the beach. Any beach in Sydney. And waiting for sunset. It is going to be a happy day. <3

Sunset in Gold Coast. (summer 2010)

Almost sunset at La Perouse. (winter 2011)

Bondi (summer, dec 2010)

Well let's just hope it doesn't rain on that day. :P

The thing that makes a girl happy

What is it that could make a girl smile all day long?

SHOPPING, of course!

I went to DFO shopping centre in Homebush this afternoon to get some seasonal stuffs - you know, coats, boots and other things. It's currently really chilly out there and I just needed to update my winter wardrobe with stuffs that could warm me when I'm out. I didn't buy much however.

These were the only things I bought.

Honestly, it was not much right? I mean, Paris Hilton would have spent more than I did. :P
Plus, you wouldn't want to see me standing outside in the cold shivering to death, would you? *wink*

The best thing that I bought was these thongs! It was only $2 from Cotton On.

The reason they were the highlight of the day? Cause I now have new bathroom slippers! The other day I fell down in the bathroom cause the Roxy slipper that I had was old enough that it had lost its grips. The result to that incident was - 3 big blue beautiful bruises on my shoulder and ankle.

Now I am the happiest person to enter the bathroom cause I got new funky blue-striped thongs which I couldn't take my eyes off from. Okay over. Just for the time being as it is still new.

Till then, toodles! :)